Grateful and Thankful

Sometimes out of nowhere it hits me - a LOT of feels. That happened a lot over the past week with time with family and friends as we celebrated Thanksgiving. Now I know that the perimenopause is real and contributing to the feels! But it is bigger than that - that sense of transition and change as Brenner and Nola navigate their teenage years and the little pieces of emptiness in our loved ones that we are no longer able to celebrate with us this holiday. Oh how I miss them. Aunt Theresa LOVED the blog and she told me how much she enjoyed reading the new entries and going back to the old ones to remember fun times. I would get a super lengthy text almost each week about each and every picture. And a note that I needed to include more of me in it! I miss her dearly.

I started this blog in 2008 when Brenner was about 6 months old. I used it share pictures and stories about our little buddy bear and later Nola with family states away. I have posted weekly (most of the time!) for 18 years. I documented hilarious happenings, first words, first experiences in food and places, first holidays, first games, first days of school, the lost could go on. It was so easy when Brenner and Nola were ready with smiles and came running to me for everything! They are teenagers now and they will tolerate a picture now and again but they value their privacy - as they should. I hope one day they will find this blog and see how much I love and cherish them. How proud I am to be their mom and what wonderful gifts God gave each of them. So for now I will leave you with some awesome photos from Brenner's senior pictures last week. Grateful and thankful and full of love - Jo

Nature is calling

We are still at school and work, but I am trying to keep the calm I get by being outside in nature. Nola had some ups and downs with basketball this week being very frustrated. I worked hard to discuss resilience and perseverance but I certainly get it that it is hard! Brenner continues with school and work. He is definitely in the phase of only wanting to discuss specific topics with us (many of which we don't want to discuss like religion and politics). I waver between he is a Hilbrenner and by nature combative and "smartphone" algorithms feeding him content that is disturbing. Either way - it makes my nature walks so much more important to my mental health. 

It was time! New Obozs...had to grab my Sawtooths before the old style is unfindable!

Also got some Brooks Cascadias......these were recommended for the Camino so I thought I would test the style out. 

I thought I had already raked leaves in this part of the yard!? Oh fall!

Making use of my use or lose on Friday. Rainy day but Baylee didn't mind!

Some interesting leaves met me on my walk. 

The "drain" of colors is fascinating. 

I also picked up two new birds this week including this fox sparrow!

Old Spice marketing cracks me up. These are two new ones for the holiday. I don't think I would want Matt smelling like a "snickerdudel" It is part of their "Holidude" collection and smells of sugar cookie that has "gourmet allure". 

I finished this great book this week from my friend Sara. I am now feeling much more mindful and calm about my "midlife crisis"! And I feel much more at peace with not always putting myself and desires second to those of my kids! I would highly recommend if you have teenagers.

Brenner had his senior pictures taken at Capen Park on Saturday afternoon. Photographer is Remington Schultz, the daughter of Matt's BFF :) I remember when Remi was born!!! Brenner did this to appease us but I think had a good time. Kaile came along too and we also had a nice lunch at Texas Roadhouse before (to curb any hangries!). 

Leaves, leaves, and more leaves

The week was full of a lot of raking of fall leaves! The colors have been beautiful and we were treated to a geomagnetic storm which produced a glorious aurora! The kids were hustling at school, Nola had basketball practice all week, and the boys were excited about opening weekend of rifle season. I finally got to go back to work! 

The maples really gave up their leaves this week!

Baylee love it!

The loss of leaves revealed this hornet nest! Ugh!

Tuesday I walked a section of Katy Trail to close my route of about 20 miles in mid-Missouri. We have funny names around here!

Opposites :) 

The cell tower near our house has been lit up like a disco -and giving us headaches. I called and learned that white flashing lights (instead of normal constant red) means an alarm has been trigger. Good news is parts have been ordered. Bad news is the rep told me it could take weeks (or months gulp) to get it fixed. I hope for sooner rather than later. 

Brenner heading off to work!

Although the shutdown was coming to an end, I did tackle the infamous kitchen drawer. You know that you have one. I did think that I would have greater satisfaction....

Our Tuesday night light show was spectacular!

Leafe raking on Wednesday waiting to hear if the House was going to sign the Senate reopener. 

A pretty sunrise on my way to the office Thursday! The day was slow - starting with zero momentum. It may be why I developed the worst migraine that I have had in years. 

Friday I worked half a day from home which allowed me to chat with Ethan the pest control guy about the hornet nest. It was comical - poor guy. He got part of it down - eventually. 

Saturday morning walk showed - more leaves had fallen! Of course - but if I wait for them to all come down it would be crazy!

Brenner ran out of gas again so I brought him some gas. I really wish Matt would fix the fuel gage - although at 18 Brenner should be able to monitor the mileage but he doesn't. 

While Nola was a basketball bonding lunch, I went to find a Christmas tree.......

Doesn't the new rug look great :) 

Another "adult" in the house

We celebrated Brenner turning 18 this week. He is an adult in the eyes of the law which honestly made me go "whew". Matt and I did it. Brenner is a good kid but wow - he has given us a run for our money over the past few years. Now we are not shoving him out the door but my sense of guilt on parenting has released tremendously. In other news - furlough continues which led Baylee and me on more long walks and some additional house projects. My hopes aren't high for any resolution from Congress this week despite the "blue wave" in last Tuesday's elections. No one is blinking.......Nola started high school basketball practice this week. Some pain in her back but all tolerable which is amazing. Thanks be to God! 

The weather stayed warm-ish this week - 60s and 70s. There were some pretty sunrises.

Check out the huge spider on one of my walks! Ugh. 

Some of the trees in our yard. Amazing color! Then I thought oh yeah I am going to have to rake all of those! 

Trees on the other side of the property. 

This made me laugh. And then be sad. Come on America - we are better than where we are!

I dropped Nola off at school and then Baylee and I explored a new portion of the Katy Trail starting at Prairie Lick. Really quiet - only saw cows, deer, and two blue tick healers (the farmer was on a tractor but I didn't seem him/her). 

Baylee didn't know what to do with this dear - they were having a standoff! 

I finally worked up the gumption to stain the back deck after it was clear I would have the whole week "off". The before......

And the after. It took longer than I anticipated but Matt and I think it turned it out great. It was super windy and the stain dried fast which caused some growing pains in application.

Do you spy a Brenner? He is in there. I snapped this picture while on an afternoon walk. 

Read this book in a couple of hours......compelling. Read it. Learn from it. 

Nola had 6 am basketball practice on Friday. I decided Baylee and I would get our 2 hours in early......probably not super smart as I forgot a flashlight but the moon was bright!

Sun was coming up as we reached our halfway/turnaround point. The fog was pretty across the fields. 

So. Many. Squirrels. 

Meanwhile Wren continues to be a cat. I was happy to see she found a shop spot instead of meowing constantly at the door. 

Friday night fire pit with Matt and me. I made homemade pizza and then the kids vacated. I was actually ok with that! 

Saturday was bithday party day (after sickness from last week postponed us a week). You don't know how happy I was for this. Last year, Brenner didn't want a party and didn't even eat the birthday cinnamon rolls I fixed. But this year was totally different - and we will keep looking forward instead of backwards! Note I did make cinnamon rolls on Monday (his actual birthdate) and he enjoyed them!

Kaile and Brenner

Alec, Brenner, and Kaile. We had a miscommunication with Brenner that prompted Kaile to give me her cell phone number (and mine to her). But I am currently considering it as an emergency number only as I don't know if Brenner knows. As such, I resisted sending these pictures to her although I think they are lovely. 

Birthday buddies - Aunt Lynnie and Brenner.

Grandma brings out the best smiles in Brenner!

Big thanks to Aunt Janet for driving Grammy and Pawpaw Floyd to the party!

Aunt Janet and Brenner. Yep - the aunt that gave him a drum set when he was like two. A full on drum set. 

Alec is like family since he vacationed with us!

Judi, Janet, Matt, and Floyd.

Nola and Aunt Janet

Our New Orleans crew! We need another girl's trip!

Nola wanted to practice driving after everyone left the party. She did a great job. So great that I took a nap in the back! Matt told her he could actually look for deer on the gravel roads...when he was teaching Brenner is was always - slow down, watch that curve, etc!